WEDDING PLANNER

He asked you … you said yes … what now?!? Start the run-up to a breathtaking experience by setting a date. Remember that during the peak seasons many reception and honeymoon venues are fully booked – so keep this in mind when you set a date. The date could also be influenced by specific needs such as a specific venue or minister or (especially in South Africa) major sporting events.

Next in line should be the time of day that you plan to get married. Afternoon weddings are traditionally more popular, but for a low budget a morning wedding could be the answer.

Now you start running into a whole maze of planning activities. This could be a daunting task if you don’t know where to start. For this reason we have set out a planning calendar starting six months before the wedding date to make this task easier for you.
 

HER CALENDAR | HIS CALENDAR


HER CALENDAR

Six months to go:

Draw up a guest list.
Work out a budget (this could determine a lot of things that you can or can’t do).
Book a venue for the ceremony and the reception.
Arrange for catering (don’t limit yourself to only one choice … get a few quotes and keep both quality and price in mind when you make your decision).
Choose a colour scheme.
Decide on a bridesmaid(s).
Pick and book a honeymoon venue.
Make an appointed with the minister or priest and at the same time arrange for pre-marital counseling.
Arrange for someone to play the organ at the ceremony.

Five months to go:

Arrange leave from work.
Hire chairs, tables and crockery.
Choose wedding rings.
Order a wedding cake.
Book wedding cars.
Get a photographer and someone to make a video (many photographers do both).
Arrange music for the reception as well as someone to do a solo at the ceremony.
Visit fashion designers until you find the bridal wear that you like.
Assist your future husband to buy a suit.
Get all documents for the honeymoon (passport etc.) in order.

Four months to go:

Arrange a master of ceremony.
Choose music and devotions.
Order stationary.
Decide what flowers you want for the ceremony and reception and keep in mind that some flowers are seasonal.
Order the flowers at a florist.

Three months to go:

Confirm catering arrangements.
Let your mother and future mother in law decide on their clothes for the wedding day and make sure that the colours don’t clash.
Arrange the dress for the bridesmaid.
Start with regular manicures.
Visit a gynecologist.

Two months to go:

Send out the wedding invitations.
Visit a lawyer and draw up your prenuptial agreement.
Purchase special under wear for the wedding day as well as for the honeymoon. This will make you feel special and give you more self confidence.

One month to go:

Discuss the final menu with the caterers and give them the estimated number of guests.
Decide on a suitable hairstyle. Visit your hairdresser with your veil.
Practice your make-up.
Make hair and beauty appointments (find out who else would like to visit your hairdresser and make appointments for them as well.
Make sure that your bridal garment and the dress(es) of your bridesmaid(s) fit and choose wedding shoes.
Arrange accommodation for out-of-town family and friends.
Arrange a venue where you and your bridesmaid(s) will get dressed.
Set up a sitting plan if the reception is very formal.
Start packing for your honeymoon.

One week to go:

Confirm the photographer.
Confirm all other appointments of which you feel uncertain.
Finalise all honeymoon arrangements with your future husband.
Do a rehearsal with all the attendants and the priest or minister.
Give the caterers the final number of guests.
Wear in you wedding shoes … sore feet on your wedding day is not nice.
Visit a beauty salon and get all unwanted hair removed.
Confirm all traveling arrangements.
Confirm all arrangements for the reception.
Arrange for someone to take the gifts home after the reception.
Pack a small overnight bag for your wedding night.

One day to go:

Collect or arrange with someone to collect the flowers at the florist.
You should now start relaxing – get a stress release massage if necessary.
Pack your suitcase for the honeymoon.
Get a pedicure and manicure.
Make a list of everything that you need to take with you to the venue where you will get dressed and get everything ready.

On your wedding day:

Visit your hairdresser and make-up artist.
Sit back and enjoy the journey through one of the most wonderful days of your life.
 

HIS CALENDAR

It is not only the bride that has responsibilities. Let us spare a few moments for the bridegroom.

Six months to go:

Give your guest list to your fiancé.
If you are going to share the expenses, discuss the details with your fiancé and her parents.
Discuss the honeymoon plans with your fiancé. Visit a travel agent for ideas.
Do the bookings for the honeymoon venue(s), as well as for transport.
Arrange transportation for the wedding party to the ceremony and the reception.
Decide on a bestman.

Five months to go:

Organise a bar/drinks for the reception (do not order the champagne for toasts or sherry yet, as at this stage you do not know the number of guests that will attend) .
Purchase the wedding rings with your fiancé.
Buy a suit and shoes.
If the honeymoon is abroad, arrange for passports.

Four months to go:

Order the corsages and bouquets for the retinue (remember the brides bouquet.

Three months to go:

Book accommodation at a nearby hotel for you and your future wife for the wedding night.
Visit your doctor for a complete checkup and a blood test.
Shop for clothes for your honeymoon if you do not have enough.
Look for small gifts for the attendants chosen with your bride.

Two months to go:

Visit a lawyer with your fiancé and draw up your prenuptial agreement.

One month to go:

Arrange a driver for the wedding car and make sure that someone will put ribbons on the car.
Confirm all your honeymoon arrangements.

One week to go:

Buy champagne for the toasts at the reception, as well as wine for the tables. If you want sherry for the guests as they enter the reception, make sure to purchase this as well. Keep in mind that there will be children as well as other guests that do not use alcohol, so remember to buy grape juice or arrange for a punch for the tables.
If you are going to make use of your own transport on your honeymoon, take your vehicle for a service, and make sure that it is in a good condition.
Confirm the booking at the hotel for you and your bride for the wedding night.
Buy a wedding gift for the bride.

One day to go:

Fill your honeymoon vehicle with petrol, check the water and oil and make sure the tyres are pumped.
Plan your speech.
Collect the corsages and bouquets.
Pack your suitcase for your honeymoon.

On your wedding day:

Get you hair cut.
Sit back, relax and enjoy the day.

To download a Wedding Checklist CLICK HERE.

DUTIES OF THE BRIDESMAID AND BEST MAN

The bridesmaid should:

Arrange a kitchen tea.
Help with the table seating.
Assist with the décor.
Help placing cards.
Help the bride get dress in her wedding gown and going-away outfit.
Stand behind the bride to her left and hold her bouquet during the ceremony.
Supervise the flower girls.
Make sure that the wedding gifts are transported to home from the reception.

The best man should:

Organise a bachelor’s party.
Ensure that the groom arrive at the church on time.
Take care of the couple’s luggage in the going-away car.
Stand on the grooms right hand side in the ceremony and present him with the ring.
Witness the signing of the register in vestry.

CRITERIA TO USE WHEN SHOPPING FOR A WEDDING RING

Financial experts recommend that couples should not spend more than six percent of their annual salary on wedding and engagement rings. Jewelry experts recommend that a couple with a limited budget could reset a stone or add more stones at a later stage. Colour, clarity, cut and carat weight are the main criteria to consider when purchasing a diamond ring.

Points to remember

There are countless options available in various prize ranges, so have an idea of your budget and style before you start looking.
Numerous jewelers have installment plans available, so you don’t have to pay everything immediately. However, make sure that you don’t put yourself in financial difficulty with a large installment.
Take your time when you choose a ring – a beautiful diamond in a bad setting or vice versa won’t be the ring you desire.
It is often a good idea to buy a diamond and have it set in a design of your choice.
Most wedding rings are made of nine carat yellow gold, because it is harder and more practical, but combinations of yellow gold with white gold, platinum or red gold are nowadays very popular.
When you choose an engagement ring, it is wise to keep in mind what your wedding ring should look like, as you will wear them together.

GIVING A SPEECH

This is often a nightmare for the bridegroom. To complicate matters, not all bridegrooms are natural speakers. The following tips could give him some ideas.

Be relaxed! The speech is not the end of the world. In fact it is the start of great things.
Be aware of your body language. The wrong body stance could immediately give away the fact that you are nervous. Avoid excessive gestures, folding your arms and clasping your hands in front of you (the typical opera stance).
Don’t talk for too long – a long speech often loses the audience.
Prepare thoroughly – if it would make you feel more relaxed, use notes with only key words on. If the whole speech is written on the paper in front of you, you could lose your way.
Avoid the “ums” and “ers” or any type of repetition.
Keep eye contact with the audience.
When appropriate, introduce humor, but avoid offensive jokes. A joke is often a good ice-breaker and could make you feel more relaxed.
Make a few practice runs if you are not used to making a speech.
If you thank everybody individually in your speech, include everyone. If you leave someone out they could be offended. To avoid this, you could thank everyone collectively without mentioning names.
Smile! Remember, this is your wedding day.

The bride/bride’s family pays for:

The engagement party
All invitations and other stationary.
The photographs as well as the video
Reception costs, which include the hiring of the venue, catering, cutlery, glasses, crockery and the wedding cake.
Flowers for the church and the reception.
The clothes and accessories for the bridesmaid(s) and the flower girl(s).
The bridal garment.
The bridegroom’s gift.
The bridegroom’s ring.

MARRIAGE AND THE LAW

Through the rush of making your fairytale come true, there are some other important issues that you need to consider. One of these is the legal aspects of life after your wedding day. Fortunately you don’t need a wedding license to get married as in the USA. You must, however, remember to get a copy of your marriage certificate – it will be wise to make a few certified copies of these when you return from honeymoon and store them all in a safe place.

You will also need to go to a lawyer as a couple to draw up an ante-nuptial contract. There are three basic contracts to consider:

In community of property – you and you spouse are jointly responsible for everything that you own. If the marriage should end, the joint estate (all your assets) will pay any outstanding debts and whatever is left will be divided equally between both of you.
Out of community of property without accrual – each partner retains control over his of her assets and each person is responsible for his or her own debts. If the marriage ends, each partner keeps what is his or hers.
Out of community of property with accrual – each partner enters the marriage with a specific worth according to the assets that he or she owns. During the marriage each partner’s assets will grow. If the marriage should end, only the growth in the assets will be shared between each partner.